Ali's Nightmare Before Christmas
by MysticalGoddessOfWords
Summary: My version of the Christmas Episode...


**Hi everyone. I'm back with the second of my three one shots I mentioned.**

**Thanks again for all the nice words on the last story.**

**This story, however, is not my usual funny, sexy, smutty Emison. If you're looking for that, this isn't the place.**

**I wanted to get this up this past weekend before the Christmas episode aired but alas here I am at the absolute last minute. It's up before the episode airs my time anyway. **

**This is dark and gritty and painful….. so you've been warned. This is written as a one shot but it is also the precursor to my new long multi chapter fic that I'll be posting after the New Year. That story will start a certain amount of time after this one ends.**

**I don't post my long stories until they're 90 percent written so I have a ways to go… so you probably won't see it until the end of January.**

**Thanks as always for reading and reviewing. **

**Another one shot will be up before Xmas.**

**OneWanderingMind…. thanks, hun, for always putting up with my crazy **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Alison's Nightmare Before Christmas<strong>

Ali!" Emily screamed as three sets of arms struggled to hold the thrashing brunette back.

"Em, there's nothing you can do," Spencer pressed her face into Emily's hair and whispered into her ear, trying to soothe her hysterical friend.

"Let me go," Emily demanded and she struggled harder as tears streamed down her face. "Ali!" Her hoarse voice echoed into the night, but it could hardly be heard over the approaching sirens.

The church in front of them burned, illuminating the sky. The flames flickered and danced wildly, leaping higher and higher as thick, black, acrid smoke billowed around the spire. The lightly falling snow, which had been a constant in the last several days, glinted like crystals as it fell from the sky and vanished, the heat from the fire preventing it from reaching the ground.

"Ali!" Emily cried again, her voice breaking. She couldn't lose the blonde again. She wouldn't survive it.

"Em, stop struggling," Hanna pleaded as she kept her arm wrapped tightly around Emily's neck. "You can't go back in."

"I have to, please," Emily begged. "Ali!' she choked out the blonde's name yet again as tears and snot ran down her face.

Aria clung to Emily's waist from behind as the brunette's body wracked with sobs.

"Em, I'm so sorry," the shorter brunette murmured against her back as tears ran down her own face.

Emily could feel the heat from the flames licking at her skin, burning her lungs, but all she could do was watch as the entire building was engulfed in a blazing explosive inferno.

Emily's knees gave out and it was only her friend's tight grasp that kept her from collapsing. Slowly the three girls lowered Emily to the ground, closing in tighter around her.

"Please," Emily's head fell forward and she closed her eyes, no longer able to look at the fire storm in front of her, knowing the girl she loved was trapped inside. "Ali," her cries were now whimpers as excruciating pain and loss consumed her.

Losing the blonde once had almost destroyed her. But losing her twice, and losing her like this, was just too much for the brunette to bear.

Emily could feel her heart cracking in her chest again and this time she knew it would never heal.

##################

**_Forty Eight Hours Earlier_**

Emily pushed the car door closed with her hip as she gripped her coffee cup with one hand and held her phone to her ear with the other. She'd had to park around the corner from her destination because the streets of Rosewood were flooded with cars and people doing their last minute Christmas shopping.

"Hanna, I'll be over when I finish running these errands for my mom." The brunette took a sip of her coffee and sighed blissfully as she listened to her friend continue to chatter in her ear while she trudged down the snow covered sidewalk, light snowflakes falling on her face.

"Will you hurry up already? I'm having a fashion emergency," Hanna replied dramatically in her ear.

"You're always having a fashion emergency," Emily chuckled at the desperation in Hanna's tone.

"This is serious. I can't decide which dress to wear tomorrow night. I have to have the right outfit to spy on Ali and I need your help. What the heck are you doing for your mom anyway?" Hanna whined into Emily's ear in only the way Hanna could.

"Just picking some pies up at the bakery. It's the last thing I have on my list." Emily ignored Hanna's reference to the reason they were all attending the Ice Ball as she weaved her way through foot traffic and more than one person who wasn't watching where they were going.

She was having doubts about this whole reconnaissance mission being anything other than a complete disaster. Her three friends believed wholeheartedly that Ali was "A" and that she killed both Bethany and Mona and was framing Spencer for it.

Emily, as much as all the evidence seemed to point to Alison, couldn't bring herself to fully believe their former blonde friend, her first real love, was capable of such evil. She was the quintessential mean girl, but capable of murder? Not after everything she'd apparently done to save all of them over the years. But maybe she was and all of that was just more of Alison's lies too.

"Pam Fields is buying pies?" Hanna only partially feigned shock. Everyone knew Emily's mom usually cooked everything from scratch. "Is world apocalypse upon us?"

"Haha," Emily switched hands so she could warm up her other fingers. "My dad comes home on Christmas Eve and she's just way too stressed about everything. She can't even think about baking."

"I thought that's what she did to de-stress," Hanna said thoughtfully.

Emily sighed because her mother's stress level was off the charts the last couple of days. "Usually it is, but not this year. You'd never know she just saw him four weeks ago at Thanksgiving."

"Well, just hurry the hell up please. If none of these dresses work, I'll have to go shopping again."

"How many dresses do you have?" Emily asked as she turned the corner onto Main Street, which was even more crowded than the side street.

"Six," Hanna answered.

"Six?" Emily said exasperated. She really did love her blond friend but sometimes she was just too much. "You don't need to go shopping again. One of those dresses has to work."

"Well, the sooner you get here, the sooner we'll know that won't we? Now chop chop, will ya."

"I'm hanging up now Hanna."

"Bring me a red velvet cupcake," was the last thing Emily heard before she hit end on her phone.

Emily shook her head and then sighed heavily. It was three days before Christmas, almost four weeks since Mona had been murdered and Emily was still reeling from the shock of it. All of them were.

Mona's body was found several days after Thanksgiving in a shallow grave in the woods adjacent to the DiLaurentis/Hastings properties. "A" apparently really loved burying bodies in those 2 yards.

Immediately Alison had become a suspect because she had no alibi. Her father was out of town on Thanksgiving so she was home alone and didn't have anyone to vouch for her. She was arrested two days later but was subsequently released less than 24 hours after that, with Holbrook announcing that she was no longer a suspect.

And speaking of suspect, something about his announcement just didn't sit right with Emily. She didn't want to believe Ali was capable of murder but so many things were now pointing to the blonde in both Mona and Bethany's deaths. It would almost be comical, if not so twisted, how the police seemed to be deliberately looking the other way.

After her arrest, Spencer's parents tried to deflect suspicion away from the brunette by implying that perhaps Alison had murdered Bethany, as well as Mona, but Alison's passing of the polygraph precluded her from any longer being a suspect in Bethany's death either.

Spencer had been released into her parent's custody and was now home, but she was forced to wear an ankle bracelet and wasn't allowed to leave the Rosewood town limits.

None of them had spoken to Alison since the night she was at Emily's house. They'd seen her at school up until winter break had started the previous Friday, but she kept to herself most of the time. The new minions she'd gathered before Mona's death had either scattered or she dropped them. And just last night Ella told Aria that Mr. DiLaurentis hired a private tutor and planned to home school the blonde for the remainder of the year.

"A" had been radio silent since the night Mona's body had been found. It was unusual but the reprieve was nice. It made Emily question once again if Alison was "A." She knew all the other girls were convinced of it and _all_ the evidence was pointing to the blonde, but no matter how hurt and angry and disappointed she was with Alison something in her gut told her it just wasn't true.

Sure, Alison was a liar and a manipulator; she had too many secrets and had definitely gone rogue, as Spencer liked to say, but a murderer? That was something Emily just couldn't wrap her mind around. Then again she no longer knew the blonde like she used to. But after everything she'd learned in the last several years, Emily wondered if she ever really knew Alison as all.

Emily looked up as she approached the bakery's front door. She turned to toss her now empty coffee cup in the trash can and she caught sight of Alison a little ways down and across the street. She was standing just to the right of the front door of her father's office, pacing the sidewalk and chatting on her cell phone. The blonde was wrapped in a short white wool winter coat and red scarf that was wrapped around her neck. Her long blonde locks hung freely down her back and even with the distance between them, Emily could see the strands blowing softly in the slight breeze the light snowfall brought with it.

And even now just the sight of the blonde made Emily's heart flutter. She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth with frustration. Why couldn't she just let Alison go? Why wouldn't her heart just give her a freaking break already?

Determined not to let her unwelcome feelings overwhelm her, Emily stepped into the bakery. Less than five minutes later she stepped back out into the lightly falling snow, carrying two pies and one red velvet Christmas cupcake. She willed herself not to look in Alison's direction, but she was weak. She was always weak when it came to her first love.

Not wanting to be obvious, Emily turned her head casually, pretending to rub her chin on her shoulder. Her eyes widened as she saw Alison still standing outside her father's office but she wasn't alone anymore. Detective Holbrook was with her and they were clearly involved in a very heated conversation.

"What the hell?" Emily muttered to herself.

Alison looked exasperated and Holbrook looked angry. Emily lingered in the bakery's doorway as she discretely watched the action across the street. What could Alison and Holbrook have to argue about? If she was no longer a suspect in anything, why was Holbrook even talking to her?

And why did Emily even care?

The brunette's eyes widened as Holbrook grabbed Alison's arm roughly and yanked her sideways before practically dragging her toward the side of the building. Surprisingly Alison allowed herself to be led, something that shocked Emily. She would have expected the blonde to shake his grip off and tear him a new asshole right there in the middle of the street. But she didn't. Once the couple had disappeared beside the building, Emily hurried across the street to find a new vantage point from which to watch.

Intrigued and also concerned, Emily maneuvered herself between a light pole and a mailbox and watched as Alison and Holbrook stood face to face, both their arms crossed defensively, and Emily couldn't help but notice how utterly beautiful Alison was when she was angry. With her cheeks flushed and her eyes blazing she was simply breathtaking and the brunette silently scolded herself for her weakness once again.

Now that she was a little closer, Emily struggled to hear what was being said, but the sound of the passing cars drowned out the couple's voices.

Dammit, why was she still so far away?

Emily watched as Alison dropped her arms and reached a hand out to Holbrook, resting it on the arms he still had angrily crossed in front of him. He seemed to calm a bit from her touch and the sight prompted bile to leap into Emily's throat. Just exactly what kind of relationship did Alison and Holbrook have?

Emily's question was answered less than thirty seconds later when Alison suddenly stepped forward and tilted her face up. Holbrook leaned down and pressed his lips to the blonde's and Emily felt her stomach lurch now as the pastry boxes in her hands slipped and fell to the snow covered sidewalk.

Rooted in her spot she could only watch as Holbrook pulled Alison closer. The blonde rested her hands against his chest and although the kiss only lasted a few seconds it felt like a lifetime to Emily.

Still unable to look away, the brunette swallowed as Holbrook ended the kiss and then leaned into Alison's ear. Whatever he said caused the blonde to nod her head and smile before pulling away. As Alison started to turn in the direction where Emily stood, the brunette crouched down behind the mailbox.

"Dammit," she muttered as she quickly gathered her now crushed boxes and leapt to her feet, practically sprinting in the opposite direction without looking back.

Once she'd reached her car and climbed inside, Emily deflated in her seat. She slammed her hands on the steering wheel until her palms ached as she let out a string of curses that were very un-Emily-like.

Anger at Alison bloomed anew Emily's chest. No wonder Holbrook let her off the hook. Despite recent events to the contrary, Emily had always thought Holbrook was the smarter of the duo of him and Tanner, but clearly, like most men, his dick was unable to resist the wiles of Alison DiLaurentis.

And, as always, just when Emily started to think maybe she was wrong about the blonde, once again, she got slammed in the face with her betrayals.

#################

Emily pushed Hanna's front door open without even knocking. Ashley's car wasn't in the driveway so she felt comfortable just entering the house but the strength with which she slammed the door behind her shook the windows beside it.

"What the hell?" Hanna voice rang out upstairs.

"It's just me," Emily called back as she ascended the stairs, the partially crushed cupcake box in her hand.

Her mother had given her a verbal lashing when she'd returned home with two partially crushed Christmas pies but Emily didn't have it in her to care. Her palms were bruised and she couldn't get the image of Alison kissing Holbrook out of her mind and she was on the verge of clawing her own eyes out to try to get rid of it.

"Em, is that you?" Spencer's voice also rang out as Emily reached the landing at the top of the stairs.

"Of course it's me," Emily snapped as she stepped through Hanna's bedroom door. "Didn't I just say it was?"

Hanna, Spencer and Aria all looked at her curiously.

"The way you were stomping up the stairs I thought it might be an elephant," Spencer replied with an arched brow from where she sat on the chair in the corner.

Emily closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I'm just in a foul mood." She handed Hanna the cupcake box. "Hanna didn't say you guys were going to be here too, otherwise I would have gotten more cupcakes."

"Mmmmm," Hanna moaned as she bit into her red velvet cupcake. "I called them over because you were taking too long," the blonde said around a mouthful of cupcake. "God this is sooo good. It's better than sex."

"You must not be doing it right then," Aria replied casually from her spot on Hanna's bed causing the entire room to burst into chuckles.

"Oh, I'm doing it right," Hanna smirked. "Caleb will vouch for that."

"Okay, ewww, TMI Hanna," Spencer shuddered before she looked back at Emily. "Why are you in a foul mood?"

"We can talk about Emily's foul mood when I know what dress I'm wearing to the ice ball," Hanna replied as she licked the last of her cupcake from her fingers.

"Insensitive much," Spencer scoffed as she shook her head.

Emily had debated the whole ride over here whether or not to tell the girls about Alison but she knew she had to. So she decided to just blurt it out.

"Well, aside from ruining both Christmas pies I just picked up for my mom, I saw Alison kissing Detective Holbrook outside her father's office," Emily growled as she threw herself on Hanna's bed beside Aria.

"Excuse me what?" Hanna choked on the last swallow of her treat.

"Don't make me say it again."

"What do you mean they were kissing?" Aria asked as she stopped texting on her phone and looked over at the brunette with a look of horror.

"Didn't I just ask you not to make me say it again?"

"Wait…wait," Spencer stuttered as her brain struggled to wrap itself around what Emily just said. "They were kissing, in the street, out in the open?"

"Yes," Emily closed her eyes as she tried to dispel the image that just wouldn't leave her brain.

"Do you mean they were full on sucking face?" Hanna asked as she unzipped the dress she was currently wearing and shimmied out of it.

"Hanna, gross," Aria gagged and Emily felt the urge to do it as well.

"What?" Hanna scoffed. "There's different kinds of kissing, you know."

"Hanna's right," Spencer said as she tossed the leg with her ankle bracelet over the arm of the chair. "What kind of kissing was it? And what the hell is she doing with Holbrook?"

"That's the real question, now isn't it?" Emily said as she finally shed her winter coat, tossing it onto the floor.

"Are you sure they weren't just greeting each other?" Aria asked, always the one to try to find a reasonable explanation for something.

"It must be nice to live in your fantasy world," Hanna replied as she rolled her eyes.

"Shut up, Hanna," the little brunette growled. "People kiss each other when they're saying hello."

"No," Emily interrupted, trying to stay on topic as she kicked off her shoes and tucked her feet beneath her. "They were arguing, actually, at first. I was too far away to hear it but it looked pretty heated."

"What would she and Holbrook have to argue about?" Spencer narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"I don't know," Emily admitted as she met her friend's eyes.

"Maybe it was about how he's probably going to lose his job because he destroyed evidence proving she killed Mona," Hanna replied with her usual lack of tact as she slid another dress over her head.

"Hanna," Spencer shook her head exasperated. "You know saying every little thing that comes into your head is not always a good thing."

"Please, all of you were thinking it too." She scoffed as she turned around to model her latest dress. "How about this one?"

"Hanna, will you give your dress a rest please," Spencer said as she lowered her leg and then stood up. "This is more important that some stupid Christmas ball." Spencer started pacing the length of the room. "I don't like this. I don't like this at all. What kind of game are she and Holbrook playing?"

"I believe it's called 'boinking' the guy who can get you off." Hanna snickered at her double entendre and now Emily did gag before launching a pillow at the blonde's head.

"Hanna, that's so inappropriate," Aria shuddered. "Ali and Holbrook can't be doing that. Can they?" The little brunette looked around with eyes begging to be told "no."

"This coming from the girl boinking her former teacher?" Hanna retorted quickly.

"Okay, you know what, I'm really-" Aria started but Emily jumped in this time, unable to take any more talk about Ali boinking anyone who wasn't her.

"Can we please stop talking about this now? Otherwise I'm going to throw myself out your window in protest," Emily grabbed one of Hanna's other pillows as she leaned back and slammed it down over her head. She wanted to puke.

"That's a little dramatic, but okay," Spencer said as she sat down again.

Aria flopped back on the mattress next to Emily and silence filled the room as they all individually pondered this latest tidbit of information.

"Seriously guys. I need help with my dress," Hanna pouted after a few minutes of silence.

"Geez, Hanna, just wear the one you have on," Spencer said as she looked over. "It looks good on you."

"Fine," Hanna growled. "Fucking Ali always manages to find a way to ruin everyone's mood. I don't know how you were ever once in love with her, Em."

Emily lifted her hand and flipped Hanna off. She just didn't have the energy or inclination to get into the complexity of her past and present feelings about the blonde.

"It always makes me tingle when you make rude hand gestures." Hanna smirked as she slid her current dress off and grabbed the shirt she'd been wearing earlier.

"You're so insensitive, sometimes, it's astounding," Spencer sighed.

Emily's phone chirped in her coat pocket and she sat up, tossing the pillow to the side.

"Can you hand me my phone," she asked Spencer who was closer to her jacket. The brunette leaned down and tossed Emily her phone.

Emily slid her finger over the screen to see she had a text.

From Alison.

"Shit," she said under her breath.

"Who is it?" Spencer asked as she tucked Emily's jacket behind her on the chair.

"Ali," Emily admitted almost reluctantly.

"Why is she texting you?" Aria asked as she sat up. "Do you think she knows you saw her today?"

Emily shook her head. "I don't think so. She and Holbrook were too wrapped up in each other. I ducked out of sight when she turned but maybe, I guess," Emily added as she bit her bottom lip.

"Well are you going to read it?" Hanna asked as she slid her jeans up her legs and then sat at the foot of the bed.

"I don't want to," Emily said honestly.

"Does she text you a lot?" Spencer asked as she moved over to the bed and sat next to Hanna.

"I haven't spoken to or heard from her since that night at my house." Emily eyed her phone and the text it contained like it was going to bite her.

"Oh, for god's sakes, open the damn text or I will," Hanna said as she tried to grab Emily's phone from her hands.

Emily jerked her arm and pulled her hand back so Hanna couldn't reach. Then she opened the text.

_"__Stay away from the Ice Ball. Tell the other girls too."_

"Who the hell does she think she is?" Emily growled as she tossed her phone away.

Spencer reached for it. "May I?"

But Hanna was faster. "What did she say? Oh, hell no," Hanna spat as she read the text.

Hanna started typing a reply when Emily jerked her entire body forward and grabbed the phone from the blonde's hands.

"What the heck are you doing, Hanna?" Emily screeched. She tilted sideways as she tried to sit back up and knocked into Aria beside her, who almost went tumbling off the bed.

"Whoa," Aria said as she grabbed onto Emily's arm and together they two girls attempted to right themselves.

"Jesus, guys," Spencer said as she grabbed onto Emily's other arm and helped pull them back to sitting before they landed in a heap on the floor.

Emily looked at the screen and saw the word "Fuck" and she immediately deleted it. "Are you out of your mind, Hanna?"

"What did the text say?" Aria asked as she scowled.

"The bitch told us to stay away from the Ice Ball. No fucking way!" Emily frowned "She's hiding something and she doesn't want us there to see what it is."

"So, what were you typing back?" Aria asked curiously.

"I was telling her to fuck off."

"Classy, Hanna," Spencer replied drolly.

"Fuck, classy," Hanna scoffed as she stood up and started pacing angrily. "We're going to that ball. I'm so over her. I'm over all of this shit. We're going to find the proof we need and she's gonna go down."

"Hanna, we're all over this," Aria tried to soothe. "But what can we do? We haven't been able to prove anything yet and Ali clearly has the police on her side."

"Why hasn't Toby been able to find out anything about Alison?" Hanna turned an accusing glare on Spencer.

"Don't look at me like that," Spencer shot back defensively. "He's tried but Bethany and Mona's cases are being run by Tanner and Holbrook and they're keeping everything to themselves. Believe me he's tried."

"What good is it to have a boyfriend on the police force if he can't get you inside information? Mona was able to get more information out of that place than Toby."

Emily read the text from Alison over and over again as Spencer and Hanna went back and forth. Each time she reread it she got angrier at the blonde until finally she stood up abruptly.

"I've got to go."

"Whoa, where are you going?" Spencer asked distracted from the retort that was on the tip of her tongue.

"To see Ali."

"Is that a good idea?" Aria asked.

"No, you're not. That's exactly what she wants," Hanna stood up and put her hands on her hips defiantly.

Emily's eyes flashed angrily. "You know what? I'm fed up with everyone thinking they can tell me what to do. You're not the boss of me, Hanna and neither is Ali. I'm-"

Spencer interrupted. "Emily, despite Hanna's cave woman way of saying it, she's worried about you. This could be a trap."

Emily sighed. "Look guys, I know we all agreed that we think Ali is 'A' and maybe she is. Maybe all this has been some completely sick and twisted game for her, but I refuse to let her bully me any longer. I refuse to be afraid of her. If she's 'A' so be it, but I'm tired of living my life in fear." Emily clenched her fingers around her phone and her eyes flashed angrily as she continued. "And I'm tired of her thinking she can dictate her whims to me, to any of us, and expect that we're just going to follow. This isn't the Alison show anymore."

Emily stopped speaking, a little stunned that so much had poured out of her mouth unabated. She looked around the room at her friends and found Hanna smirking proudly, Spencer with her brow furrowed, and Aria was biting her lip worriedly.

"Do you want one of us to come with you?" Aria asked.

"No," Emily replied.

"Someone should go with you," Hanna insisted, so damn proud of the brunette, still clearly angry that Emily even wanted to see Alison.

"No," Emily said again. "This is between Ali and me."

"It's between all of us," Spencer pointed out as she gestured to the tracking bracelet around her ankle. "I'm the one she's framing."

"We don't know for sure it's her who's framing you, Spence. And actually this part of it is just between me and Ali." Emily grabbed her jacket and slipped it on. "I'll talk to you guys tomorrow."

"Call me when you get home," Hanna said and Emily shot her a look at the blonde's demanding tone. "Please," the blonde added, recognizing the brunette's look immediately, as she grinned her irresistible Hanna grin.

"Yeah, me too," Spencer added. "I won't sleep if you don't."

"Me three," Aria chirped, not wanting to be left out.

Emily shook her head and actually chuckled, despite her sour mood. "Guys, I'll be fine. But I'll call you," she assured before walking out.

##################

Alison pulled the front door open and frowned when she saw who was standing on the other side. As much as she missed the brunette, ached for her presence, really, her being here was the last thing Alison needed today.

"What are you doing here Emily," she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest defensively, even though the blonde was pretty sure she knew what drove Emily to seek her out.

Momentarily distracted by the sight of Alison in a pair of ice blue silk winter pajamas, her breasts pushed up so the hints of her cleavage were visible above the buttons, it took Emily almost a full minute to reply. When she lifted her eyes from where they were focused on the blonde's chest, Emily met Alison's narrowed ones.

Busted.

"Well?" Alison asked as she tried to hide the smirk threatening to curl her lips. A rush of heat flared through the blonde and for a brief moment she almost forgot she was mad at the brunette. Almost.

"I want to talk about your text." Emily didn't ask permission, she just stepped into the house, walking around Alison, and into the foyer.

Alison's lips quirked briefly at Emily's bold move, because that was something the old Emily would never have done. But she quickly hid her amusement before she closed the door and turned around to face the brunette just as Pepe came scampering down the stairs to greet her, giving her a quick bark and a head butt in her thigh. Unable to resist the dog, Emily leaned down and scratched his ears.

"It was pretty self-explanatory," Alison retorted evenly.

"Where the hell do you get off thinking you can tell me what to do?" Emily demanded as she released Pepe's ear and stood back up.

Alison didn't answer the question thrown at her, but she did cross her arms defensively again, partially because she wanted to tempt Emily again and partially because _she_ was far too tempted to hurl herself into the brunette's arms and tell her everything. Instead her eyes flashed and she curled her lips into the sneer that used to intimidate the girl in front of her.

"You need to stay away from the ice ball."

"I have just as much right to go as anyone," Emily shot back, keeping her eyes on Alison's face, as she clenched her fists at her sides. "Just because your dad is sponsoring it doesn't mean you have the right to dictate who goes and who doesn't."

"I'm asking you to stay away." Alison said through gritted teeth. Why was the brunette so fucking stubborn?

"It doesn't sound like you're asking," Emily shot back. "It sounds like you're trying to bully me again and I'm done with your bullying Ali."

"I'm trying to fucking protect you," Alison spat harshly as she dug her fingernails into her palms to keep from reaching out and shaking Emily _hard_.

"From who?" Emily demanded just as harshly before adding, "You're the only person I need protection from."

Alison scoffed as she rolled her eyes derisively. "Don't be an idiot, Emily. You're too smart to make stupid statements like that."

Pepe, who'd moved to sit beside Alison patiently, poked the blond in the thigh with his nose. She glanced down at him and he barked.

"You've already been out twice tonight, Pepe, you're starting annoy me now," she growled as she walked over to the door and opened it to let him out. "Are we done?" she asked Emily sharply and she left the door open as an invitation for the brunette to leave.

"No, we're not." Emily replied, her eyes blazing and her voice just as sharp. "Tell me who you're _supposedly_ protecting me from?"

"Don't ask me questions I can't answer." Alison narrowed her eyes in warning.

"Can't or won't?" Emily challenged.

"Both." Alison retorted as she released the doorknob and reached down to pick some imaginary lint off her pajama pants.

"I don't know why I even bothered coming over here," Emily scoffed as she shook her head.

"I don't either," Alison replied as she shrugged.

"It's just so typical of you, Alison, thinking you can dictate to everybody else what they can and can't do."

Alison's eyes flashed angrily. "Fine, Em, do what you want but don't say I didn't warn you."

"Is that a threat?" Emily arched her brow.

"It's a _warning_," Alison emphasized both syllables of the word.

"Same old Alison," Emily scoffed disgustedly. "Once a bully, always a bully. I can't believe I actually let you convince me you'd changed."

"I can't believe you actually let them convince you I'm 'A'," Alison shot back. "You know, the Emily of two years ago was a pushover but she didn't let other people think for her," Alison lashed out defensively.

"I make my own decisions, Ali. I stuck up for you to everyone until you showed me how wrong I was. They didn't have to say or do anything." Emily shoved her hands into her jacket pockets. "You did it all yourself when you showed your true colors."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Ali asked angrily.

"You look out for you and screw everyone else," Emily shrugged as she threw the accusation at the blonde.

"The four of you are so fucking naïve," Alison spat as she turned to look more fully at the brunette standing in her foyer. "You think I'm only looking out for me? You have no idea the lengths I've gone to protect you. All of you."

"Really?" Emily scoffed with disbelief.

"Yes_, really_," Alison replied as she grit her teeth. How dare Emily question how she'd protected them? If she only fucking knew!

"Why don't you tell me then?"

Alison released a harsh breath before replying. "I told you once before there are some things you're better off not knowing."

"And I told you that's not a good enough answer. If you're trying to scare me, it won't work Ali."

"You should be scared, Em. I am." Alison sighed and looked away, not wanting Emily to see the hurt that the brunette's doubt caused. Alison rattled the door handle in her hand. "Now will you just go? I'm really tired."

Emily started toward the door but instead of walking out of it, she pushed it closed with a harsh thud. She turned to face the blonde head on. "No. I'm not done. I want answers from you."

"Argh," Alison released a high pitched growl as she clenched her teeth and stalked out of the foyer and into the living room. "I really don't need this from you right now, Em. I have enough fucking going on."

"What's your connection to Bethany?" Emily asked changing the subject as she followed behind Alison.

Alison turned around and glared. "I told you I didn't know Bethany."

"I don't believe you," Emily challenged as she unzipped her jacket.

"You don't have to. It doesn't make it any less true."

"Mona said you knew Bethany and visited her in Radley," Emily accused.

Alison shook her head disgusted. "Mona said a lot of shit that wasn't true. And I think it's rich that after what she did to all of you, it was just so _easy_ for you to form an alliance with her and turn your backs on me." Alison leaned against the back of the sofa, crossing her arms again. "I eventually expected that from the others. But your betrayal cut deep."

"What goes around comes around," Emily said as she shrugged, more carelessly than she actually felt.

Alison looked away again, refusing to let Emily see how much her words hurt. "I may have hurt you and lied to you and manipulated you but I've never betrayed you." She looked back at the brunette when she said the next words. "What you did broke my heart."

"Why, because I'm the loyal one?" Emily sneered, the belief that Ali's words were just to try to manipulate her, causing her to lash out.

Alison shook her head. When did Emily become so fucking mean? "You said that in your room that night. What the hell does that mean anyway?"

Emily stepped closer to Alison as her eyes flashed. "It means each one of us was a puppet, a means to an end for you in whatever sick and twisted game you were playing."

Alison snorted sardonically. "Yes, Emily, I was a horrid little bullying bitch. Tell me something I don't already know. Something I'm not already paying for."

The sound of a bang came from the direction of the kitchen.

"What was that?" Emily looked alarmed.

"Probably just Pepe wanting to come in the back door," Alison sighed.

"Are you sure?" Emily asked concerned.

"Yeah, he does that all the time," Alison replied as Pepe's bark rang out from the back of the house. "He'll come back around the front when I don't let him in. Are we done now?"

Emily turned her head back to look at Alison. "No! I want an explanation. After everything, you owe me that."

"I don't owe you anything." Although Pepe's interruption had diffused her anger slightly, it flared up again at Emily's demand. Alison pushed off the back of the sofa and took a step forward so she and Emily were now only inches apart. "You lost the right to anything from me when you betrayed me, accused me of being 'A' and of killing Bethany and Mona. Tell me, is there any crime in Rosewood I'm not responsible for?"

"What did you expect, Ali? Every word that comes out of your mouth is a lie. And you're still full of as many secrets and lies as you were two years ago."

"I may be a liar, Emily, but I'm not a murderer." She stepped back but kept her eyes pinned on the brunette. "Everyone always wants to make me the bad guy. But I didn't start the war with Mona this time around. I told her I didn't want to fight anymore but she came at me guns blazing and there's no way I wasn't going to fight back." Alison sighed as her anger drained out of her again. "But I didn't kill her. I didn't kill either of them. And I'm not A, Emily. And if you think I'm capable of that then you've never really known me at all."

"Then I've never known you," Emily said, her voice still harsh.

Alison's eyes flashed with hurt and this time she didn't try to hide it from Emily. "You're the only one who did."

Emily was surprised at the look in Alison's eyes. For one brief moment she wondered if maybe Alison was telling her the truth.

"I don't know what you want from me, Em. Do you want me to say I'm sorry? Because I could tell you I'm sorry, every day for the rest of my life and it would still never be enough, would it?" Alison said as she lifted her hands in exasperation. "I told you I was sorry and I regretted everything I did to you. I told all of you I'm sorry for who I used to be. Newsflash, I have a lot to make up for but I'm not going to spend the rest of my life groveling, defending myself and constantly apologizing for the same thing over and over."

Alison barely took a breath before she continued as a stunned Emily took a step back.

"I never meant to hurt you, Em. I know I did it over and over and if I could go back and do it all again, I'd do everything different. Everything! I'd never let you doubt my feelings for you no matter what it cost me because the price I'm paying now is too high. I've lost the only person I ever really cared about."

"What the hell does that even mean Alison?" Emily hissed as she refused to acknowledge Alison's words. "Will you just stop talking in riddles? I am so tired of you talking around everything. For once in your life Ali, I want the truth. Why won't you just give me a straight freaking answer?"

"Because no matter what I say to you, you're not going to believe me so why should I bother?" Alison said matter-of-factly.

"Did you ever care about any of us at all? Ever?" Emily asked as she shook her head, disappointed in Alison's reply.

"More than you know," Alison admitted softly. Her voice hitched slightly and she hoped Emily didn't hear it.

Pepe barked outside the front door now and Alison sighed grateful for the dog's interruption. She couldn't afford to be vulnerable in front of Emily. She pulled the door open and the dog pushed past her, barked once and then bounded up the stairs.

"You're welcome," she called after him.

Emily nibbled her bottom lip as she followed Alison back into the foyer. This confrontation with the blonde hadn't yielded her any satisfactory answers to anything. She wanted explanations. She deserved them. And Emily knew she was never going to get them out of the blonde, but the image of Alison kissing Holbrook in that alleyway just wouldn't leave her brain.

She knew she shouldn't ask. She was just asking to get her heart ripped out once again, but she couldn't stop herself.

"What's going on with you and Holbrook?" Emily swallowed after the words were out and she crossed her arms over her chest in a silent gesture of self-preservation.

Alison's eyes whipped back to Emily's and flashed momentarily with panic, but she quickly concealed it. "What you talking about?"

"I saw you Ali," the brunette accused. "I saw the two of you outside your dad's office. You were having a pretty heated conversation and then I saw you kiss him."

Just the words passing her lips made Emily want to vomit.

Alison shook her head in disgust and crossed her arms again, as well, mimicking Emily's posture. It was not lost on the blonde that they were both doing that a lot tonight. "You really shouldn't spy on people, Em. It's rude."

"I wasn't spying on you," Emily defended, although that was exactly what she'd been doing. "You were standing out in the open. Is that how you convinced Holbrook you didn't kill Bethany or Mona, by spreading your legs for him?" Emily's voice dripped with revulsion.

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about Emily," Alison growled, her eyes flashing angrily as her arms dropped. She clenched her fists to keep from slapping the girl in front of her. She needed the anger to cover the hurt pulsing through her once again from Emily's words. Would the brunette ever stop hurting her?

"Well enlighten me then," Emily shot back through clenched teeth.

"What the hell do you care anyway?" Alison challenged. "You're putting your lips all over Paige. I can put my lips wherever I want. You walked away from me, remember."

"Because I was fed up with your lies, Ali," Emily yelled as she took a step closer to the blonde. "Are you even capable of telling the truth?"

"How dare you fucking judge me after the way you betrayed me. Get out of my house, Emily. Like I said I don't owe you shit."

"Ali-" Emily started to say but Alison interrupted as she yanked the door open again.

"No. I'm done. Just get out," Alison screeched and Pepe barked from the floor above. When Emily didn't move, Alison reached out and tugged her arm, pushing the brunette toward the door. "Get out!"

Emily stumbled as Alison pushed her but she regained her footing just as the door slammed behind her. Through the door she could hear Alison's heavy footsteps as she ran up the stairs.

Fuming Emily turned and stormed down the front steps toward her car. As she was getting in she heard a crash come from Alison's room upstairs. Obviously Alison was just as angry as she was.

Emily backed out of the driveway and sped off but when she reached the end of the street she stopped at the stop sign. She slammed her hands on the steering wheel like she'd done that afternoon, the ache from her bruised palms vibrated up her arms. Every time she talked to Ali, the blonde turned things all on their head and Emily never knew if she was coming or going.

Why couldn't she just let the blonde go? Why did she have such a hold on her?

Instead of calming down, the longer Emily sat at the stop sign, the angrier she got. Alison has just literally thrown her out of her house.

Emily shook her head and made a split second decision. One she was sure she would eventually regret but she wasn't going to let Alison win. Not this time.

So she spun the car in a circle and headed back toward the blonde's house.

#######################

Emily shoved Alison's bedroom door open just as the blonde was closing the door of her antique wardrobe. She was no longer in her pajamas but a pair of jeans and long sleeve blouse.

"Where are you going?" Emily demanded as she entered the room.

Alison jumped as she turned around. "How did you get in here?" she asked angrily.

"I still have a key. Where are you going? I thought you were tired," Emily said as she tilted her head and assessed the blonde.

"I told you already Emily," Alison sneered slowly as if she were talking to a child. "You lost all your rights to any more explanations from me."

Emily's eyes flashed angrily at Alison's snotty reply and she just snapped.

"That's where you're wrong Alison." Emily stalked over and thrust her fingers into Alison's long blonde hair, grasping the soft locks and tugging backward, forcing Alison to meet her gaze. "You owe me a hell of a lot more than that."

The blonde's eyes widened with surprise and then the blue depths darkened, heat, anger, and something else swirling in them, but Emily ignored the twisting in her stomach at the sight as she tightened her fingers in the soft strands.

She pushed Alison against the wardrobe and slammed her lips down onto the blonde's, swallowing the girl's startled gasp. She thrust her tongue between Alison's lips and then groaned when the blonde sunk her teeth into it, hard enough to sting but not hard enough to force Emily to draw back.

Emily pressed her long, toned body against Alison's slightly shorter and softer one, pressing her harder into the wardrobe as she forced her right leg between Alison's thighs.

The blonde groaned into Emily's mouth, her tongue fighting Emily's for dominance as the kiss deepened and lengthened. She lifted her hands and slid her fingers into Emily's hair, wrapping them around the brunette's tresses and tugging just as hard as Emily. Their lips met over and over in a messy, sloppy, angry, desperate kiss.

Emily felt Alison arch her back and press down against the brunette's thigh. She pulled her lips away from Alison's and kissed a rough, heated path over the blonde's cheek and down her neck, sucking and biting the soft skin as Alison tugged harder on her hair, almost to the point of pain.

Emily's hands dropped and gripped Alison's waist, holding her against the wardrobe, before quickly sliding up, pushing Alison's shirt along with them. When her fingers reached Alison's breasts, she squeezed the soft globes causing the blonde to moan long and low.

Emily continued to suck on the hollow of Alison's throat, not caring that she was most likely leaving a mark, alternating between sucking the warm skin and soothing it with her tongue.

She shoved Alison's bra up and wrapped the thumb and forefinger of each hand around the blonde's nipples, tugging and rolling the hard buds roughly. Alison's body bucked against her and she groaned Emily's name.

This was not how Emily ever pictured their first time together. She always imagined it soft and sweet and tender. She imagined candles and flowers and words of love passing between both their lips.

But she was so angry and hurt and out of control. And she knew this was wrong, but she still couldn't stop.

Emily shoved Alison's shirt higher before lowering her head and latching her lips around one of Alison's nipples, tugging and sucking as her tongue lapped at the tip. Her deft fingers tweaked Alison's other nipple and the combined sensation made the blonde moan and buck against her.

Emily swirled her tongue around, teasing the hard little bud in her mouth and Alison tugged even harder on the brunette's hair.

Emily felt Alison's fingers try to pull her away from the blonde's breast even as she panted heavily against Emily's ear. But Emily sunk her teeth into Alison's nipple and nipped it hard.

"No," she growled against Alison's skin as she grasped Alison's wrists. She lifted them above the blonde's head and slammed them against the wardrobe, trapping both of Alison's wrists in one of her hands.

Emily's other hand pushed past the waistband of Alison's jeans, sliding down in one smooth, quick stroke. Her fingertips slipped past the lace and satin of Alison's panties, sliding lower until she found warm wet flesh. She thrust her fingers lower, burying first one, then a second finger inside Alison as the blonde's hips bucked, the motion gently rocking the wardrobe behind them.

The blonde arched her back as she sunk her teeth into Emily's shoulder in retaliation and Emily groaned. The brunette removed her lips from Alison's breast and lifted her head, her eyes dark and flashing with lust as she pumped her fingers in and out of the blonde as Alison's thighs trembled around her hand.

The wardrobe rocked again, reminding Emily of the precariousness of their position, so she yanked her hand out of Alison's pants and tugged the blonde over to the bed, pushing her roughly onto the mattress.

Emily never imagined she could ever be this rough with Alison, but it was almost like she was outside herself looking in, unable to stop her uncharacteristically aggressive behavior.

The blonde looked up at her and she licked her lips. Emily reached for the button on Alison's jeans, tugging it open before yanking the zipper down. She tugged the jeans, along with Alison's underwear, down and off her body. Alison moaned as she bent her legs, placing her feet flat on the mattress, letting her thighs fall open as she tossed her shirt and bra aside, leaving her fully naked to Emily's view. Her skin was flushed and her eyes were heavy lidded with lust.

Emily grabbed Alison's ankle and tugged her down toward the end of the mattress. As she was just about to drop to her knees and bury her tongue into the blonde, Emily froze, the temporary madness in her mind suddenly clearing and she was horrified by what she was about to do.

She and Paige were together. They were dating again and Emily was just about to cheat on her girlfriend, with Alison, the one girl who had the power to destroy her.

"What's the matter?" the blonde asked as she looked at Emily panting.

Emily stood back as her heart dropped into her stomach. "I can't," Emily choked as she turned toward the door.

"Emily, where are you going?" Alison called after her, but Emily ignored her, rushing down the stairs and out the door. She reached the car and she stopped, bending over for a second to try to catch her breath.

She felt like she was going to hyperventilate. She couldn't believe she'd been seconds away from having sex with Alison.

No, she'd been seconds from fucking Alison.

That's all it would have been and the truth of that had tears stinging the back of Emily's eyes. After a few deep breaths, she jumped into the driver's seat and backed out of Alison's driveway, tires squealing, barely even looking to see if it was safe.

#####################

Emily made it home in less than five minutes, pulling into her driveway, failing to notice the car parked in front of her house. Emily stumbled out of the car, still a bit dazed, and headed toward the front door, only to be stopped by a familiar voice.

"Emily, hey, didn't you see me sitting here?"

Emily turned at the sound of the familiar voice to see her girlfriend walking across the lawn, smiling. Emily felt bile rise into the back of her throat.

"Paige," she said, unable to form any other coherent words at the moment.

"Hi," Paige greeted but then her smile faded. "Hey are you okay? You look like you're going to be sick."

That was an understatement.

"No, I'm…. I'm okay," Emily said weakly, guilt consuming her. She avoided Paige's eyes, instead looking over at Christmas lights on the tree in the center of lawn.

"You don't look okay," Page said as she reached out to her girlfriend but Emily just stepped back.

The brunette took a deep breath, trying to calm her frazzled nerves, and said more confidently, "I'm okay." She forced a smile. "Did I forget that we had plans?"

Paige looked at her for a moment, like she didn't believe her, but then she shook her head imperceptibly. "We didn't. I just thought I'd surprise you and see if you wanted to get something to eat."

"I'm not really hungry," Emily replied quickly, a little too quickly.

"Where have you been?" Paige asked curiously. "And what has you so shaken up"

"It's nothing," Emily insisted.

"Why you lying to me?" Paige asked.

"I'm not lying," Emily replied defensively.

"Then why won't you tell me where you've been?" Paige's voice dripped with accusation.

Emily considered lying but realized it would almost certainly blow up in her face. As it was, if Alison decided to use what happened between them to her advantage, her relationship with Paige would most certainly be over.

"I went to see Alison," Emily admitted reluctantly.

"Why would you do that?" Paige clenched her teeth and Emily saw the anger flash in her eyes. It only made her feel even worse.

"She sent me a text telling me not to attend the ice ball."

"So?" Paige snapped. "She can't stop you from going. It's a school event."

"I know that," Emily snapped back. "That's why I went to confront her about it."

"Well, what did she say?" Paige demanded.

"Nothing satisfactory," Emily growled softly under her breath, her anger once again flaring to the surface.

"Why wouldn't you just tell me?" Paige asked her anger still clear in her tone. "What did you expect from her?"

Emily shrugged. "I guess I thought maybe I could get her to tell me the truth."

"Emily, she's A. That was a stupid dangerous thing to do."

"I don't know if she's A, Paige," Emily admitted with a sigh. She was so freaking confused right now. "I just don't know anything anymore."

Paige scoffed and she frowned. "You're not falling for her lies again are you? Emily, I thought you were past that."

"Paige, I'm not falling for anything," the brunette insisted. "There's nothing between me and Ali anymore."

The lie felt like ash on her tongue. Emily's feelings for Alison were complicated, to put it mildly, and no matter how much Emily wished she could banish her feelings for her first love, she always felt herself being drawn back to her, despite what the blonde did to her.

"I really don't want to argue with you about this. Going to see her was a mistake. I should have ignored the text and not gone over there, but it just pissed me off. Believe me," Emily sighed. "I won't make the mistake again."

"She's just trying to manipulate you, Em, and you're letting her." Paige frowned as she accused.

I'm not letting her manipulate me," Emily insisted as she gritted her teeth because Paige was right.

Frustrated, Emily lifted her hands to her face and scrubbed her fingers roughly over her cheeks. She froze and her entire body seized up as the scent from her fingers wafted into her nose. The scent of Alison's arousal. She quickly ripped her hands away from her face, her eyes wide and she swallowed uncomfortably.

"Look Paige I'm really tired. Can I have a rain check on dinner?"

"Sure," Paige said hesitantly after a minute. "Is this going to be an issue?"

"Not if you don't make it one," Emily snapped and then she sighed. "I'm sorry I'm being so snippy, Paige. I'm just really tired," Emily said more softly, remorse coloring her tone.

"Okay," Paige finally relented. "I'm still picking you up for the dance, right?"

"Yeah," Emily nodded. "What time?"

"I'll be here at seven." Paige smiled and stepped closer the Emily. "Can I have a kiss goodnight at least?"

The last thing Emily wanted to do at that moment was kiss her girlfriend, not with the lingering scent of Alison possibly on her face.

Emily took a step back. "I think I'm coming down with some kind of cold. I don't want you to get sick." The excuse sounded lame even to her.

"I don't care," Paige said as she lifted her hands and cupped Emily's cheeks and her palms, kissing her girlfriend before Emily had time to even react. Emily jerked her head back startled.

"Paige, what the hell?"

Paige stepped back and frowned. "Are you sure everything is okay?"

Emily sighed heavily but she reached out to grasp Paige's hand with the fingers that didn't have Alison's scent on them.

"Everything's fine. I promise. I'll see you at seven." Emily forced a smile as she squeezed Paige's hand.

"Okay. I love you," Paige smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"I love you too," Emily replied and it just made her feel even guiltier.

Emily watched as Paige turned and walked to her car, getting in and driving away.

Well that could've been a disaster of epic proportions.

Emily stood in the cool night air for several minutes. Only the feeling of the snow starting to fall, tickling her eyelashes brought her out of her own head.

She turned and walked into the house, headed up the stairs, and straight into the bathroom. She turned the water in the shower on hot, as hot as she felt her body could stand, before she stripped and stepped into the stream.

################

Emily stepped into the auditorium that had been transformed into an ice castle and she gasped softly.

"Wow," she said as she looked over at her girlfriend, her eyebrows arching with appreciation.

"Ali's dad outdid himself," Paige admitted, although Emily heard the disdain in her voice.

Aria and Ezra stepped up beside them at the top of the stairs. "Pretty fancy," Ezra commented casually and Aria rolled her eyes.

"Are Hanna and Caleb here yet?" Emily asked as she looked around.

"Isn't that them over there?" Aria pointed to where Hanna, Caleb and Spencer stood off to the right of the dance floor.

Paige slid her hand into Emily's as they descended the stairs and walked over to greet their friends.

Hanna whistled as the two couples approached. "What's happening, hot stuff?" she teased Emily as she grinned.

"She is pretty hot, isn't she?" Paige said as she slid her arm around Emily's waist and leaned into Emily's side, kissing her cheek.

Emily was still feeling horribly guilty over what happened with Alison the previous night so she was being very indulgent with her girlfriend since she'd picked her up.

"Why does everyone always tell Emily she's hot and no one ever tells me?" Spencer asked curiously even as she smirked.

"Because Emily is the hottest," Hanna replied as she grinned.

"Hey, I take offense to that," Spencer replied but her mock pout gave her away.

"Hanna, cut it out," Emily laughed and shook her head.

"Why? I'd totally do you, you know."

"Hanna," Emily scoffed as Caleb looked over at his girlfriend.

"Really?" he said and Hanna just grinned and kissed him.

"Don't worry, baby, I'd let you join us."

"Well, alright then," he chuckled as Paige jumped in.

"Nobody's doing Emily but me, so the two of you just back off." Her words were said lightly but Emily recognized the jealous undertone beneath them.

"Has anyone seen Ali?" Aria asked innocently and six sets of eyes glared at her. "What? Geez, I just asked."

"There's Elphaba," Hanna said as she motioned with her head to the top of the stairs. "And she makes her grand entrance. Where's her broom?"

"Who's Elphaba?" Paige asked no one in particular.

"That's the wicked witch of the west's real name," Spencer answered after a few seconds because Emily failed to respond, distracted by the sight of the blonde walking down the stairs.

As always, Alison's presence commanded attention. She wore a deep blue flowing dress with a neckline that plunged low in the front. The bodice hugged her in all the right places, accentuating the natural assets the blonde was graced with.

Emily groaned silently as she remembered the feel and taste of the blonde's breasts and she unconsciously pulled away from her girlfriend as her guilt flowed through her anew.

"You might want to put your tongue back in your mouth, Em," Hanna leaned over and elbowed the brunette in the side as she whispered against her ear. "Before your girlfriend pops an aneurism."

Emily snapped out of her daze and looked over at Paige almost sheepishly.

"I'm going to get a drink," Paige announced before she walked away.

"Smooth, Em. Real smooth," Hanna scolded.

"Shut up, Hanna," Emily shook her head as she frowned and followed after her obviously irate girlfriend, prepared to grovel a little.

######################

Emily's phone chirped in her purse and she quickly opened it, hoping it was Paige. Her girlfriend had left the dance after the fiasco that was Alison's arrival. Emily had offered to go with her, as a peace offering, but Paige refused, saying she wasn't feeling well and maybe she was coming down with whatever Emily thought she had the night before.

Emily wanted to kick herself for letting Alison get to her, but not quite as much as she wanted to kick herself for what almost happened with the blonde last night.

She'd betrayed her relationship with Paige and she felt terrible about it. Part of her wanted to confess to her girlfriend because she didn't think she could live with the guilt. But the other part of her knew if the brunette found out, it would be the end of them.

The smirk Alison had thrown at her as she descended the stairs had made Emily's blood run cold. She was glad Paige was gone now because she wouldn't put it past Alison to come over and rub their indiscretion in her girlfriend's face.

Emily looked at her screen just as Hanna dropped into the chair beside her.

"This ball blows."

Spencer chuckled as she sat on Emily's other side. "Tell us how you really feel, Han."

"Ali hasn't done anything out of the ordinary all night. It's like she knows we're watching her," the blonde complained.

"That's probably because you said that to her face in the bathroom less than thirty minutes ago." Spencer slipped her phone out of her purse.

"She was completely eavesdropping on us." Hanna shrugged unrepentantly. "I wanted her to fucking know we're on to her."

"Well she certainly does now," Spencer retorted casually.

"Ohhh," Hanna said after a minute. "By the way, did you notice that huge hickey on her neck, Spence?"

Spencer looked up from the text she was typing to Toby, who was on duty and hadn't been able to accompany her tonight.

"You couldn't miss it," Spencer rolled her eyes. "It was quite tacky of her to not cover it up."

"I wonder if Holbrook gave it to her," Hanna said before adding, "Ewwww." The blonde wiggled in her set. "Gross."

Emily shuddered. "Can we please stop talking about this?"

"But Em, you should have seen it. It was like this big… red… welt that screams 'I'm a whore'."

"Nice, Hanna," Spencer scoffed even as she chuckled. "Can you say that a little louder? I don't think they heard you on the other side of the room."

"I saw it when she walked by us earlier," Emily replied, disgusted by Hanna's words. She'd almost had a heart attack when she saw it, horrified the blonde would flaunt it like that. And once again Emily was glad that Paige had left.

Aria walked up. "I just saw Ali walk into the coat room."

"Is she leaving?" Spencer perked up as she stopped texting Toby.

Aria shook her head as she sat down. "I have no idea."

"I do," Emily said as she looked up from her screen, finally fully joining the conversation. "She just texted me."

"What the fuck is she texting you again for?" Hanna asked as she tried to grab the phone from Emily.

"Hanna, you need to stop grabbing my phone," Emily growled as she pulled her hand away. "It's rude."

"I am rude, when it comes to that bitch," Hanna huffed but then she smiled as Caleb took the seat next to her.

"No, you're just being rude to me," Emily shot back.

"Why is she texting you again," Spencer said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, what does she want?" Aria chimed in just as Ezra approached.

"What does who want?" he asked as he dropped down in the chair next to Aria, setting a drink in front of her.

"Alison is texting Emily."

"Didn't we just see her leaving?" Ezra asked as he leaned back in his chair.

"What does she want, Em?" Hanna demanded again.

Emily's brow furrowed. "She says after our fight last night she's ready to tell us everything. She wants us to meet her at the church and she'll tell us who 'A' is."

"That doesn't sound like a very smart idea," Ezra said.

"I agree with Ezra. That sounds like a set up," Caleb said as he gave Hanna a "don't you even think about it' look.

"What game is she playing?" Spencer asked curiously.

"Maybe it's not a game," Emily murmured thoughtfully, confused yet again by Alison's inconsistent and unpredictable actions.

"Everything's a game with her," Hanna replied obviously.

"Maybe Em got through to her last night," Aria, the ever optimistic one, offered.

"Maybe she's a fucking psycho who wants to kill us all," Hanna shot Aria down.

"Maybe you should all stop using the word maybe," Spencer rolled her eyes.

"Hanna, stop being such a bitch," Emily finally said. She loved Hanna. She really did. And she understood Hanna's resentment when it came to Ali, but she hated it when Hanna called her a bitch.

Hanna just shrugged but didn't offer an apology.

"So what do we do?" Aria asked as she bit her bottom lip anxiously.

Spencer stood up and tucked her cell phone into her purse. "If we want to know what her game is we should go."

"If you want to end up buried in Spencer's back yard you should go," Caleb said angrily.

"Caleb, calm down," Hanna pressed her fingers against his arm.

"No, this is stupid idea," he insisted. "I'm not letting you go."

"You can't stop me," Hanna narrowed her eyes.

"Uh oh," Aria said as she shot a quick look at Spencer before standing up. Ezra grabbed her hand.

"This is a bad idea, Aria," he warned his eyes full of worry.

Aria looked around at the girls before looking back at her boyfriend. "I have to."

"Then we're coming with you." Ezra stood up and nodded to Caleb who looked over at Hanna. She was glaring at him defiantly so he sighed and nodded his head in agreement.

"Let's go then," Spencer said as she started walking away.

"Should we change first or something?" Aria asked as she followed along with Emily and Hanna beside her.

"That's probably a good idea," Spencer agreed. "Let's all go change and meet at the church. Em, text Ali back and tell her we'll be there in half an hour."

Okay," the brunette nodded. "But I need a ride. Paige was my ride," she added as she typed the reply to Alison.

"Come with me and Caleb," Hanna said as a means of a peace offering as she reached out and put her hand on Emily's arm. "You can wear something of mine."

As the group exited the auditorium and went their separate ways, Emily's phone chirped again.

She looked at the screen to find a reply from Alison and her blood ran cold.

_See you in thirty –A_

########################

The three girls walked into the church to see Alison standing in the front near the altar.

"Ali, this better not be some kind of trick," Spencer warned as they approached the blonde who had also changed out of her dress and into jeans and a turtleneck sweater.

"Chill out, Spencer," the blonde replied before looking over at Emily. "I wasn't sure you'd come after what happened last night." The blonde lifted her hand to her neck briefly as her eyes darkened.

Emily stiffened as Alison dared to taunt her so blatantly.

"Let's get this over with Ali," Hanna jumped in as she narrowed her eyes, clearly understanding Alison's hidden meaning. "The guys are waiting outside for us."

Alison's lips curved into a smirk. "I figured as much."

"So, what's this about Ali? Are you finally going to be honest with us or is this just another one of your games?" Spencer asked impatiently. "Because I'd rather be home in my sweats than here with you."

"This isn't a game Spencer," Alison replied coldly. "It's time you all know what I know. It's time you know the truth about who 'A' really is."

"I knew you knew who it was," Hanna accused as she clenched her fists and it was only Aria's hand on her arm that kept her from sucker punching the blonde before she added, "Ali, you wouldn't know the truth if is smacked you in the face."

"How about I smack you in yours," Alison sneered.

"That's enough," Emily commanded the two blondes. "Ali, just tell us already."

"I can't tell you." Alison turned and walked over to the door at the far end of the church. "You won't believe me if I tell you. I have to show you."

She opened the door revealing a dark staircase.

"We're not following you down there, Ali, you can forget it," Spencer scoffed. "We're not that gullible."

"This has nothing to do with being gullible. If you want to know the truth, you're going to have to trust me."

"Do you even know what the truth is?" Aria asked at the same time Emily said.

"You've already destroyed our trust, Alison."

Alison exhaled an angry breath. "Look if you want to finally put a stop to 'A's' game, you'll let me show you what I've gathered. If not, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. But it's taken me a long time to put it all together and I know who killed Bethany and I know who killed Mona and I'm going to put an end to this once and for all, with or without you!"

Alison turned and walked down the stairs, not waiting to see who would follow her.

The girls looked at each other as the blonde disappeared into the darkness.

"She could be telling the truth." Aria was the first one to speak.

"Yeah, and rainbows might shoot out of my ass," Hanna scoffed as she rolled her eyes.

Ignoring Hanna's comment, Emily added, wanting to be optimistic of the blonde's intentions. "We'll never know if we don't take the chance and follow her."

"Are you coming or not?" Alison called from the bottom of the stairs.

Spencer sighed. "Fuck it. I'm going to jail anyway so I've got nothing to lose."

The tall brunette started down the stairs.

"Except your life," Aria murmured to herself as she followed. Emily and Hanna looked at one another, neither one moving, until they heard Alison's voice call from below.

"Em, are you coming?"

"I swear to god if all of this is just because you want to fuck her, I'm going to kick your ass Emily Fields," Hanna huffed as she turned and descended the stairs.

Emily followed and stopped once she reached the bottom step. The girls were all standing around a small room with a door opposite the stairs. The door was open but it was pitch black inside.

"Where are the lights?" she asked as she noticed Alison standing to her right flicking several breakers on and off.

"Fuck, the electricity in this stupid church never works when you need it to," the blond growled as the other girls looked on.

"How often do you hang out in this church? I'm surprised it hasn't been struck by lightning."

"Hanna, cut it out," Spencer said quietly as Alison ignored the blonde's jab.

Suddenly the lights flickered to life revealing a long hallway just through the door.

"Finally," Alison said as she pushed past the girls and walked down the hall.

"Where are you taking us Alison?" Spencer asked suspiciously.

"I had to keep everything hidden so 'A' wouldn't know about it. This was the only place safe enough."

Alison pushed the door at the end open and stepped inside. The room was also dark

"Where are these lights now?" Spencer asked as she stopped short, just inside the doorway, causing first Aria, then Hanna and Emily to walk into her.

"Shit, the light switch is outside the door," Alison replied as she turned around. "Excuse me, can I get to the light switch," she growled as she pushed past the girls, subtly maneuvering them deeper into the room. Instead of stepping out of the room Alison slammed the door shut.

The sound of metal clanging echoed in the darkness.

"What the hell?" Hanna said just as the room was flooded with light.

Emily and the three girls found themselves inside a narrow metal cage, and they turned to face Alison, who was standing outside it with a maniacal grin on her face.

Emily stormed over to the bars in front of her and snarled. "What are you doing, Ali? Let us out of here."

Alison didn't reply but her smirk became even more feral.

"This isn't funny, Ali," Emily growled as she gripped the bars separating her from the blonde.

"Uh, Em," Aria's voice sounded strangled. "I don't think this is supposed to be a joke."

"Listen to the short one, she's right," Alison said in a low voice. "This is no joke."

Emily glared at the girl she'd loved since she was fourteen, although all the love she felt was fading away. "I swear to god, Alison. This is the last straw. You've destroyed any last chance that I would ever forgive you."

"Oh my god," Hanna gasped.

"Ali?" Spencer's voice rang out laced with shock and confusion.

"I don't understand," Aria's voice maintained her earlier strangled tone.

"What is wrong with all of you?" Emily snapped as she turned to face her friends and she did a double take.

Just beyond the bars, not more than fifteen feet away, sat _Alison_, dressed in the pajamas she'd been wearing the night before, strapped to a metal chair, motionless, with her head hanging down.

"Oh my god, Ali?" Emily cried out as she rushed to the other side of the cage and gripped the bars. Her gaze whipped back and forth between the blonde sitting motionless in the chair and the blonde standing a few feet away who looked identical to her.

Confusion sparked in the brunette's eyes as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing. "What have you done to her?" Emily demanded but the blonde just continued to smirk as she walked around the cage.

"Is that Cece?" Aria asked, her voice still strangled, as she pointed to another blonde slouched and chained to the wall to the right of Alison.

"Is she alive?" Hanna asked no one in particular.

"Which one?" Spencer asked.

"Both," Hanna replied causing the blonde outside the cage to cackle.

"For now," the blonde said cryptically as she walked over to the corner and picked up a baton with two metal prongs at the tip.

"Is that a cattle prod?" Spencer asked warily, already knowing the answer.

The blond grinned as she held it up for all to see.

"It's my own modified version of one, yes." The blonde moved to press the tip of it against the cage's metal bar. Spencer grabbed Emily and yanked her back before the prod made contact. It sent electric sparks everywhere as metal met metal and the blonde laughed darkly. "High voltage, low current," she offered. "It's perfect for maximum-"

"Pain with minimal damage," Spencer finished for her as she blanched. Emily, Aria and Hanna all went white with the implication of Spencer's words.

"Always such a know-it-all, Spencer," the blonde mocked as she zapped the bars again.

"Who the hell are you?" Aria asked hesitantly.

"Your worst nightmare," the blonde sneered lowly as her grin fell from her face. "Now toss your cell phones out of the cage."

When none of the girls moved, the blonde pressed the prod against the bars again. "I'm not playing games here. You think I can't reach you in there with this thing?"

The blonde emphasized her point by shoving the prod through the bars and hitting Emily in the arm. A hoarse scream escaped the brunette's lips as she fell heavily into Spencer, who almost dropped her as she collapsed.

"That was a warning," the blonde screeched. "Now toss you fucking phones out of the cage."

The four girls did as they were told, Hanna grabbing Emily's phone out of her front pocket because the brunette was still disoriented from the shock.

"Ezra and Caleb are outside. They're going to come looking for us when we don't go back out in a few minutes. You won't get away with this," Spencer said, clearly panicked but trying to maintain some semblance of calm.

The blonde let out a low, dark chuckle. "Do you really think I didn't know you'd bring them and have arrangements made to take care of them? Don't you know by now not to underestimate me?"

"What have you done, bitch?" Hanna screeched as panic and worry for Caleb flooded her body.

"You should be more worried about what I'm going to do to you."

"I swear to god if you've hurt him," Hanna warned in a dangerous voice. "I will kill you with my bare hands."

"Hanna, stop," Spencer warned softly. "Don't make it worse."

Hanna whipped her eyes to the brunette but she bit her tongue.

Emily stood on shaky legs, remnants of pain from the shock still pulsing through her. She eyed the girl in front of her and then the girl on the chair. How was she supposed to know which one was which?

"Why is she wet?" Aria asked as she looked more closely at the blonde strapped to the chair.

"Water reduces the electrical resistance of the skin so it increases the effect of the shocks," Spencer replied, her voice monotone. "Oh, god," she added as the full implication of the blonde's intentions became apparent.

Emily felt her stomach drop and she looked over at the blonde in the chair again.

"You just can't help yourself, can you? You have to show everyone up," the blonde snarled before answering. "But, yes, Aria, she's right. Although I would have said it more simply. It will just make everything so much more painful for her." Her lips curved into a feral grin as she clapped. "But we should wake Alison up. We wouldn't want her to miss any of our fun."

The blonde stepped forward and pressed the tip of the electric prod against the side of Alison's neck.

The girl's body jerked and she gasped, which quickly turned into a scream.

"Ali," Emily cried out, her voice full of terror as she gripped the cage's bars again. She knew what that felt like and she couldn't bear to see the blonde endure it.

Alison lifted her head and blinked her eyes. The room slowly came into focus and her head whipped up as her frightened eyes met Emily's panicked ones.

"Em," she croaked and then swallowed.

"Ali, thank god," Emily choked as relief flooded her body.

"It's about time you woke up," the blonde standing a few feet away sneered and Alison slowly turned her head. She didn't want to take her eyes off Emily but she forced herself.

"Courtney," she said with very little inflection in her voice, though she was horrified that her instincts turned out to be right.

"Hello, sis," Courtney said as she smirked.

"I can't believe the story was true," Hanna muttered to herself.

"What story?" Spencer asked, not taking her eyes away from the events unfolding outside the cage.

"The one Alison told me on Halloween the year before she disappeared."

Courtney pressed the prod against the swell of Alison's right breast, causing the blonde's body to jerk as screams tore from her throat.

"Stop it," Emily pleaded as she watched helplessly from inside the cage.

Courtney kept the prod against Alison's skin for another few seconds before she removed it. Alison's body sagged and her head fell forward again as she whimpered softly.

Emily gripped the metal bars in her hands and looked through them powerlessly as Alison's body jerked with the aftershocks.

"Ali, look at me," Emily begged.

Alison's only response was a low groan.

"Look at me, damn it," Emily commanded desperately.

It took all of Alison's strength to lift her head. Her blue eyes fluttered as she tried to focus and Emily gasped at the pain she saw in them.

The other blonde, the one none of the girls knew existed, paced like a caged animal beside the chair Alison was strapped to, swinging the prod beside her.

"That's it Ali," Emily said her voice softer this time. "Stay with me."

"Courtney, why are you doing this?" Alison asked, tearing her eyes away from Emily as she shivered softly.

"You just sat back and did nothing," Courtney accused as she stopped pacing and brought the tip of the prod a mere inches away from the swell of Alison's breast again, ready to press it against her at a second's thought.

"What could I have done? I was five years old," Alison replied as she swallowed nervously and eyed both her sister and the instrument apprehensively.

"You could've fought for me," Courtney screeched, causing everyone in the room to cringe at the piercing sound. "I'm your sister. You just let them lock me away."

"You stabbed me in the chest with a carving knife," Alison snarled despite the fear coursing through her.

Courtney scoffed as she rolled her eyes. "It was 12 years ago, Ali. Get over it already."

"Oh, like _she_ clearly has," Hanna muttered under her breath and Spencer elbowed her in the side as she hissed, "Shut up, Hanna."

"They told me you were dead Courtney," Alison said as she surveyed the room, her eyes whipping back and forth between her sister and her friends in the metal cage near the door, forcing herself to remain calm.

She tugged against her restraints but the cuffs around her wrists and her ankles wouldn't budge.

"I might as well have been. After mom and dad had me locked up, they just went on and pretended they had only one daughter."

Alison glanced toward Cece. "What did you do to her?"

Courtney chuckled lowly. "Don't worry about Cece. She's tough. I wanted the most important people in your life to be here tonight, when I finally revealed myself." Courtney tapped the end of the prod against the cement making it spark. "I went all the way to Paris to bring her back. She didn't even realize I wasn't you." Courtney cackled, proud of her deception. "I think I gave her a little too much of the sedative though, but it'll wear off soon enough."

"Why are you doing this?" Alison asked again as she let her eyes wander, trying to locate anything that might help them escape.

"Because everybody loved sweet little Alison and everybody thought I was the monster." Courtney zapped Alison with the prod again, this time in her neck, causing the blonde's eyes to roll back as the electricity shot through her. She couldn't suppress the scream that tore from her throat.

Inside the cage Emily gripped the bars and whimpered as she watched the girl she loved being tortured.

"But once I was taken out of the picture it was the sweet one who grew up to be a monster too." Alison panted and struggled to catch her breath. "Maybe not quite the same way," Courtney taunted. "You're a product of your environment, and mom was just as mean and crazy as I am, and I'm a product of our genetics. But don't forget Ali we share the same genes so you have just as much of a chance to go crazy like I did.

"I may have been a spoiled brat but I'm nothing like you Courtney," Alison insisted.

"You really think so huh," Courtney snapped, once again zapping Alison in her breast quickly. The soft scream that escaped her lips echoed throughout the room.

"Stop it," Emily cried from inside the cage and the blonde just laughed.

"I bet if Mona was still here she'd say differently. Just like Cece, she looked right in my face and thought I was you. She thought she had figured out who A was and when I stabbed her in the stomach she called me Alison. It was fucking brilliant."

Courtney clapped her hands excitedly again.

"Everyone thought I was you. Even your precious _Emily_ couldn't tell the difference," Courtney taunted. "I was sure as soon as she kissed me she'd know I wasn't you."

Alison's eyes whipped to Emily and she saw the brunette swallow as the reality of what Courtney said sank in for both of them. Alison felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest and she would have much preferred the pain of the prod against her skin.

Courtney turned and smirked at Emily, now taunting the brunette. "Could you tell it wasn't your true love you were fucking last night, Em?"

"Ewww, you fucked her?" Hanna gagged as she smacked Emily in the shoulder. "I knew that's what this was about."

When Emily didn't answer Courtney, she turned back to face her sister. She gave Alison another longer zap, causing the blonde's body to jerk and a loud, choking, screeching sound to escape her lips.

"Stop it," Emily cried out, desperate to get Courtney to stop hurting Alison. "I didn't know it wasn't her, alright. Just stop hurting her."

Courtney grinned and pulled the instrument away from Alison's breast. Alison gasped for breath as her eyes struggled to focus.

"Now, that wasn't so hard, was it Emily?" She asked as she glared at the brunette. "Next time I assume you'll answer me when I ask you a question."

The insane blonde turned back to Alison to continue her taunting.

"I just barely got you stuffed into that wardrobe before Emily came barreling back into the room." Alison looked over at Emily again and could see the anguish in her eyes. "Too bad you were unconscious, sis. You could've listened in."

"Please, don't," Emily pleaded. She couldn't bear to hear the words out loud.

Courtney squatted down in front of Alison now, wanting to see her sister's face when she said the next words.

"She pushed me against that wardrobe. And she put her hands on me and her mouth on me." Alison closed her eyes as Courtney continued, barely pausing for a breath. "Even though it's not my thing I didn't stop her. Do you know why?"

Alison didn't answer so Courtney shocked her again and the smell of urine permeated the air around them as Alison's bladder released.

"I asked you do you know why?" she demanded harshly.

Unable to speak, Alison just shook her head and Courtney squealed with delight at the blonde's suffering. She leaned closer, whispering in Alison's ear, wanting to share this moment with just her sister.

"Because what better way to fuck you, than to fuck her."

Alison tugged against the handcuffs chaining her to the chair as her eyes whipped up and she glared at her sister.

Courtney stood and threw her head back as she laughed at Alison's pain. "What's the matter sis? Don't like the fact that your girl had her lips on me, her fingers inside me, all the while thinking it was you?"

Emily bent forward and heaved, emptying her stomach on the concrete floor in front of her. Hanna knelt down beside her and rubbed her back.

Emily was horrified that he hadn't known it wasn't Alison. She'd kissed Allison a half a dozen times in her lifetime and she thought she would've known Alison's lips anywhere. The mere fact that she hadn't made the brunette's body seize again until she was dry heaving.

"I have to say she's pretty talented," Courtney smirked as Alison continued to struggle against her bonds. The blonde walked over to the cage and ran the prod along the bars creating sparks again. "The girl on girl thing never really interested me but if anyone could sway me it just might be your _mermaid_."

Courtney walked back over and crouched down in front of Alison.

"You've never told her how you really feel have you."

Alison's eyes flashed and she growled. "Shut up Courtney."

The blonde chuckled darkly. "Well isn't this just priceless? I get to be the one who enlightens all these girls who the real Allison DiLaurentis is," Courtney taunted again as she zapped Alison once again, each time a little longer than the last. "Poor little Alison. Attracted to both boys _and_ girls. And you hated yourself so much for it that you slutted yourself around to any guy who showed you any interest at all. Even went out and got knocked up by one of them. But all the while you were still pining away for one of your best friends."

Alison was too weak to lift her head but she lifted her eyes to meet Emily's and she silently begged the brunette for understanding.

"That's one of your journals none of them have seen. But don't worry sis, I've kept it safe. I've kept all your things safe, all your secrets." Courtney walked over to a rickety old desk and tugged open the drawer. She lifted out a journal with a pink butterfly on the cover and she waved it around for Alison to see. "I wonder what Emily would think if she read the journal you kept solely about her."

Still too weak to protest as Courtney walked to the cage again and waved the journal in front of Emily. "Would you like to read this one Emily?" The brunette eyed the blonde warily, knowing the offer wasn't real but she was still sorely tempted to reach for it.

"Answer me," Courtney growled as she shoved the prod between the bars and rammed it into Emily's stomach too quickly for the brunette to move out of the way.

Emily's entire body seized up as the electricity shot through her, the brunette's scream tearing from her lips. When Courtney pulled the prod back, Emily collapsed.

"Em," Hanna cried as she dropped to her knees beside the brunette.

Alison tugged violently on her bonds, feeling the metal dig deep into her skin. "Fucking leave her alone,' she snarled with more strength that she thought she had.

"Always so protective of your mermaid, huh?"

"Why are you doing this?" Alison demanded but she never took her eyes off Emily as Hanna helped the brunette to stand.

Courtney began pacing frantically. "Because you deserve to suffer like I did." Courtney stepped over and stood in front of Alison holding the prod just a hair's breadth away from Alison's breast again. "Do you even have any idea what they did to me in there? Can you even fathom what it's like to undergo electroshock therapy week after week, year after year?"

She pressed the prod against Allison skin causing the blonde to release another scream. Alison's body jerked as electricity shot through her. She dug her fingernails into her palms and her eyes rolled back.

"Stop it please you're going to kill her, Emily pleaded hoarsely.

Courtney chuckled to herself darkly watching her sister's body jerk and writhe. Finally after another minute or it could've been two or even three, Courtney pulled the instrument back and Alison's entire body sagged to the side

"Courtney if I had known you were alive I would've fought for you. You're my twin," Alison panted and gasped the words out, hoping her words would calm her sister.

"You're a fucking liar," the blonde snarled and she pressed the prod against Alison's skin and held it there as Alison screamed and thrashed and jerked.

"Stop hurting her, please," Emily's voice merged with Alison's as the brunette begged.

"You were too selfish and self-centered," Courtney continued, ignoring her sister's shrieks. "You never would've wanted to share our parents with me. You were probably glad when they locked me away."

"What is that smell?" Hanna asked.

"Burning flesh," Spencer replied as she swallowed back the bile rising into her throat.

"I had that night all planned out,' Courtney continued as she removed the prod from Alison's now burned skin. "I'd been sneaking in and out of Radley for months. I'd watched you from afar, studied you. I had to be sure that no one would be the wiser."

Alison could barely lift her head so Courtney walked over to a bucket in the corner of the room. She lifted it and tossed the water inside it into Alison's face, soaking the blonde once again.

Alison cried out from the shock of the cold liquid and she choked on the water as it splashed into her mouth.

"I saw you with your posse, how you acted with each one of them, how you acted with mom and dad and Jason. I was ready and it was going to be flawlessly executed. But mom saw me through the window." Courtney clenched her teeth as she recalled the night two years ago. "Mom was so mad at me. But I thought once she calmed down she'd see how I could take your place and no one had to know. Not even dad. But she wouldn't let me and she sent me back to Radley," the blond spat before continuing. "But first, she buried you, alive no less," Courtney snickered. "And I watched her do it."

Courtney's snicker turned into a growl almost immediately.

"Then that bitch Bethany had snuck out behind me that night. She ruined everything." Courtney began to pace again. "Whenever mom came to visit me she spent more time with Bethany than me. She was my roommate at first, until they put me in isolation. I had her wrapped around my little finger and she would have done anything for me. You know what that's like, don't ya sis? Wrapping a girl around your finger, winding her so tight until she doesn't know if she's coming or going." Courtney didn't wait for Alison to answer. Instead she turned to Emily. "You know how that feels, don't ya Emily?"

Emily glared at Courtney and didn't reply.

"What did I say about answering me when I ask you a question?" Courtney screeched as she pressed the prod into the middle of Alison's chest.

"Yes, yes," Emily cried over the Alison's screams. "I know how it feels."

Alison felt the pain shoot straight into her and her eyes rolled back as she slumped to the side, now unconscious but her body continued to jerk as the electricity pulsed into her.

Courtney pulled the prod back and she frowned. "Well, shit, look what you made me do."

"Ali," Emily choked as tears poured down her face.

"Oh my god, is she dead?" Aria gasped as Courtney stalked across the room and grabbed another bucket of water from near the wall. She tossed into onto Alison and the blonde gasped as the shock of the cold water revived her.

She looked around confused and disoriented for a minute. Emily whimpered with relief as Alison's eyes met hers.

Courtney walked over and Alison's body trembled in fear but the blonde just tilted Alison's face up so their eyes could meet.

"I keep forgetting I have to pace myself. I don't want you to die on me yet."

Courtney walked over to the cage and pressed the tip of the prod against the bars again. The electricity sparked and Courtney chuckled.

"Leave them alone," Alison snarled as she panted softly. "It's me you want. This has nothing to do with them."

"Oh, but it does," Courtney assured her. "All through this game, you always underestimated me, Ali. But I'm smarter than you could ever hope to be. Did you really think I wouldn't figure out what you and Holbrook were up to? Your plan to frame Spencer to throw me off the scent that you'd figured out who I was?" Courtney tapped the prod into the cement floor beside her and Alison was just grateful she wasn't tapping it into her. "Did you really believe that would lull me into a false sense of security so that I'd leave those little bitches alone for a while? Bitch, please," Courtney scoffed. "I made you think that you'd fooled me and I left them alone. But they're your friends so they have to suffer too. Anyone who has made the mistake of caring about you has to suffer."

Using all her strength, Alison lifted her head defiantly. "I'm done Courtney. I'm done running. I'm done being afraid. I'm just done. Do what you're going to do to me. Just let the girls go. This is between us."

Courtney scoffed disgustedly. "You're always protecting them. They turned their backs on you yet you still try to protect them. How fucking pathetic are you?" Courtney dragged the tip of the prod across the floor causing electrical sparks to fly everywhere. "Do they even have any idea the kinds of things you've done to protect them?"

Allison didn't even flinch. "None of it matters anymore Courtney they don't feel anything for me anymore than you do."

"See, that's where you're wrong, Ali. My feelings of hatred for you are all consuming." Courtney heaved out a harsh breath. "You, out there free in the world, living your life, while I was locked in that hellhole."

"Hey psycho bitch," Cece, finally awake, called from her spot on the floor. "Why don't you come over here and pick on somebody who can actually fight back?"

Courtney's head whipped around and she grinned, her eyes crinkling excitedly to see Cece was finally awake.

"Cece what the hell are you doing," Spencer hissed harshly. "Are you trying to make it worse?"

"Seriously?" Cece scoffed as she gaped at Spencer from her spot on the floor. "Do you really think it can get much worse?"

"Well… well… well…. welcome back. How's the head?" Courtney asked playfully.

"Why don't you let me out of these restraints and I'll show you," Cece responded to her voice low and dangerous.

Courtney chuckled. "You've always made me laugh, Cece. I'm actually going to be a little bit sad to kill you."

"I won't feel any emotion when I kill you," Cece warned, her protective instincts for Alison causing her to run her mouth.

Courtney chuckled harder. "Not likely but go ahead and dream."

The blonde turned back to her sister. "When I'm through with you you're going to be so broken you'll be begging me for death," Courtney growled. "But don't worry, I'm merciful. I'll put you out of your misery. I'll put all of you out of your misery." Courtney waved her arm to include all the other girls in the room. "Then I'll step seamlessly into your life like I always planned and no one will ever know."

"You're psychotic, Courtney," Alison spat. "Dad will know. Jason will know. You'll never be able to fool them."

Courtney scowled and zapped Alison again just because she could. When Alison's screaming stopped and her body stopped jerking and eyes fluttered open, they met Emily's. In the brunette's eyes, Alison saw terror and she feared that would be the last thing she'd ever see in Emily's eyes.

"You underestimate my acting ability, Ali. Oh, but wait…" Courtney said like she'd just remembered something and she grinned widely. "I have another surprise for you. I almost forgot," Courtney taunted as she walked over to a curtain that hung from the ceiling along the wall farthest from the door. She grasped the edge of it and looked expectantly at her sister.

Alison refused to tear her eyes away from Emily. The tears she saw floating in Emily's eyes caused her heart to throb painfully in her chest. The fact that she could feel that pain over all the other physical pain in her body was a testament to the depth of her feelings for the brunette.

But there was nothing Alison could do. She just had to try to stay strong and hope Holbrook had figured out that something had gone drastically wrong with their plan.

"Look at me," Courtney commanded impatiently. "Don't make me come back over there."

Alison tore her eyes way from Emily's and looked over, fear rippling through her at what could possibly behind the curtain.

Courtney's lips curled into a feral smile that sent shivers down Emily's spine. Her eyes flashed malevolently and her grin turned malicious as she pulled the curtain back.

Alison's eyes widened and then a sound that resembled a wounded animal poured from her lips and she leaned forward, as horror and unimaginable pain punched into her gut.

She didn't hear the shocked gasps and cries coming from her friends. She couldn't hear anything over her own screams of anguish.

Sitting slumped in a chair, similar to the one Alison was tied to, was her father. His head was tilted to the side, his eyes were wide open and there was a bullet hole in his forehead.

"Daddy," Alison sobbed as she curled in on herself.

"He couldn't tell either. Imagine how shocked he was when his darling little Alison turned on him. Like Mona and like _Emily_," Courtney rolled the brunette's name over her tongue sensually in order to torment Alison, "He thought I was you too."

Courtney walked over to the rickety desk again. "It's going to be brilliant, you know." She took a box of matches out of the drawer and then she reached down behind it and lifted a gasoline can.

"The whole town will gather around me as I mourn for all my friends and the last of my family that perished in the church fire. Poor Alison, once again, endures so much pain by losing everyone. I'll milk it for all it's worth. Jason will have no idea and before I disappear for good, I'll take care of him too. It really is too bad he didn't come home for Christmas this year. Guess he doesn't like spending time with you either."

"You entire family didn't like spending time with you," Cece spat and Courtney stormed over and pressed the prod against her shoulder.

"Fuck," Cece screamed as her body jerked and thrashed as the electricity shot through her.

Courtney chuckled as she stepped back. "I'm getting bored. I want to end the game now. I'll be right back," she said cheerfully. "Got to get this fire started."

Courtney strode out of the room and down the hall.

"Ali," Cece hissed as soon as Courtney was gone.

The blonde just stared blankly at her father's body, too in shock to do anything else as tears poured down her face. She hadn't cried when her mother died, her relationship with her mother had been complicated to say the least. But her dad loved her, even with all her flaws. Now the last person who genuinely loved her was gone and she truly was alone.

"Alison, snap the fuck out of it," Cece demanded harshly but the blonde just continued to stare blankly at her father.

"Fuck! One of you bitches better have bobby pins in your hair," Cece hissed to the girls in the cage.

Spencer yanked one out of her hair. "I've got one."

"Do you have more than one?"

Spencer yanked another one out of her hair. "Toss one to me," Cece said and Spencer did as she was told. It landed close enough to Cece's foot that she was able to snag it with her shoe and pull it towards her.

"You need to toss the other one to Alison and you better not fucking miss," Cece demanded before calling the blonde's name again. "Ali," Cece hissed again. "Fucking look at me right this minute, bitch."

"Ali," Emily's soft voice rang out and that did register with the blonde. She turned her face and looked at Emily and the brunette gasped at the empty look reflected in the blonde's eyes.

"Ali," Cece said as she used the bobby pin to work on the lock of her restraints. "I swear to god, I'm going to kick your ass when we get out of here if you don't look at me right fucking now."

Alison finally tore her eyes away from Emily and looked over at Cece.

"Look at Spencer and catch what she throws at you," Cece warned but Alison didn't say anything.

"Ali," Spencer said her name softly and Alison turned her head. Spencer held up the bobby pin so Alison could see it. Alison's eyes flickered and she nodded her head.

"Aim for her right thigh," Cece said to Spencer. "Your fingers can reach your thigh, right?" she addressed Alison.

Alison tugged against her cuffs and her fingers were able to brush against her thigh.

Alison nodded her head. Spencer slid her arm through the bars and as she was about to throw the bobby pin, Emily grabbed her wrist.

"Let me, I have better aim than you."

Spencer gave the bobby pin to the brunette and Emily slipped her arm through.

"Ali, look at me," Emily said and Alison met her eyes. "Open you hand and hold your palm up."

Alison did as Emily instructed and stretched her hand as far forward as she could. It shook violently but she struggled to hold it still.

Emily closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them Alison was looking at her. She smiled and the blonde's lips curved as she nodded.

Emily tossed the bobby pin and by some miracle it landed in the center of Alison's palm. She closed her shaking fingers around it and tucked her hand down just as they heard Courtney coming back down the hallway.

Courtney came back in. "Okay, it won't be long now."

The scent of fire and smoke was starting to waft down from the church above.

Courtney walked over to the desk and pulled out a .357 magnum revolver before going to stand in front of Alison.

"So, I decided I'm feeling generous. I can put them out of their misery now," she swung the handle around her index finger as she motioned toward the girls in the cage. "Then when the fire gets down here, they'll already be dead so they'll never feel it. Or I can just let the fire consume them, maybe the smoke will kill them first, maybe it won't. It's your choice."

"Don't make her make that kind of choice," Emily growled through the bars, attempting to distract Courtney.

Courtney turned around and glared at Emily. "I'm talking to my sister here, butt out."

Then she narrowed her eyes as she walked closer to the cage. "Maybe I'll make you make the choice, _mermaid_," Courtney sneered the name derisively. "Although you did leave me unfulfilled last night, you do now have a special little place in my heart so I'm going to let you choose…..how…..Ali…..dies." Courtney paused briefly between each word for emphasis.

"Leave her alone," Alison snarled as Emily paled and Courtney chuckled in response. She looked back at her sister who was struggling in her bonds.

Courtney turned back to face the girls. "I could always just keep shocking her until her heart gives out but the smoke and fire are moving pretty fast so I can't stay long." Courtney tapped her lips as she pondered something. "Or I can just reverse the current and give her one good shock and it will be all over. But what's the fun in ending it quick?"

"If I ever get my hands on you, I swear I will tear you-" Emily growled but Courtney interrupted as she started cackling again.

She turned to look at Alison who stared back wide eyed. "She's a feisty one, isn't she? No wonder you never moved on from her."

Courtney turned back to Emily and her eyes flashed dangerously. "Make your choice, mermaid. Otherwise I'll make her watch as I systematically execute each one of you."

"What kind of choice is that? We're all going to die anyway," Spencer said as she stepped forward.

"True," Courtney conceded as she agreed. "But you have two choices. It can be painful or it can be _really_ painful."

Emily's arm suddenly shot between the bars and she grabbed Courtney's shirt, yanking the blonde closer. "I'm not going to let you hurt her anymore," the brunette hissed.

"Em," Hanna, Spencer and Aria all cried simultaneously as Courtney yanked out of her grasp and lifted the gun and pointed it at the brunette.

"You made your choice," Courtney sneered just as Alison stepped up behind her and slammed a wrench down on her skull.

"How do you like getting hit on the back of the head, bitch?"

Alison's knees suddenly gave out and she crashed to the floor.

Cece jumped up and ran over to the cage, shoving the bobby pin in the lock and picking it in a matter of a minute. More smoke continued to billow down the hallway.

Emily rushed over and gathered Alison into her arms.

"Ali," she pleaded as she watched the blonde's eyes roll back. "Stay with me baby," she murmured as Alison shook her head and blinked her eyes.

She looked into Emily's eyes as her own welled with tears. "Em," she said as Emily cupped the side of her face with her palm. "I'm so sorry."

Emily shook head but before she could reply, Cece stepped up beside them and bent down to help Emily lift Alison to stand.

"Can you two of you wait until we're out of here to eye fuck each other please?"

"How are we going to get out of here? The first floor is on fucking fire," Spencer stated the obvious as smoke continued to seep under the door at the top of the stairs and make its way down the hall.

"There's a back stairway behind that door that leads to the sacristy," Ali pointed toward a door right beside where her father's dead body was sitting. She was too weak to stand on her own and she leaned on Emily as the brunette led her toward the door.

"How do you know that?" Hanna asked.

"Who the hell cares, Hanna. Let's just go," Aria said as she bolted for the door. She tried to turn the handle. "It's locked."

"Get out of my way, shorty," Cece demanded as she swung the wrench Alison has used to clock Courtney and brought it down on the door handle. She then kicked her foot out and it slammed into the door knocking it off the hinges. She tugged Aria out of the way as it fell backward and crashed to the floor.

"Hurry the fuck up," she called behind her as she sprinted up the stairs.

"If we weren't in such imminent danger of dying, I'd be totally enamored of how badass that really was," Spencer said to Aria as she hurried up the steps behind Cece.

Emily guided Ali toward the stairs.

"My dad," Ali choked out as they got closer to his body.

"Ali," Emily said softly, her heart aching as Alison's voice broke on the words. "There's nothing you can do for him now. I'm so sorry."

Alison tore her eyes from her father and looked at Emily. She nodded reluctantly and let Emily maneuver her up the narrow rickety staircase.

They reached the top and stepped into a large room located right behind the altar. Smoke was pouring into it from the front of the church, which was engulfed in flames from the front door all the way to the foot of the altar.

"What now?" Aria asked panicking. "We can't get to the front door."

"Ali, which fucking way?" Cece demanded as Emily interrupted.

"Just break a window." But the sacristy didn't have any windows.

"There's a vestibule over there," Ali pointed again as she attempted to stand on her own.

"Ali, stop struggling and just lean on me," Emily said she led the blonde toward the door.

"Why is she so familiar with the inside of this church?" Hanna asked again as she tugged Aria through the door and into the vestibule.

"Hanna, focus," Spencer commanded as she joined Cece at the double wooden doors. "Why aren't they opening?" she asked frantically as smoke began pouring into the vestibule.

"I don't know," Cece screeched as she tugged and pushed on the doors futilely.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Hanna exclaimed as she pushed both Cece and Spencer out of the way. "The bolts at the top." She pointed to the two deadbolts at the top and Spencer reached up and released them simultaneously.

The doors opened and they girls tumbled out, one after another.

"Call 911," Spencer said but then realized none of them had their phones.

"The whole freaking town has to see this fire by now, Spence." Hanna replied. "Besides our phones are down stairs."

"Oh my god," Aria screeched as she ran across the lawn to the two bodies laying in the grass.

Emily kept her arm around Alison's waist and guided the blonde forward. At the threshold of the door, Alison stopped.

"Ali, come one, it's just another few steps," Emily encouraged.

"No," Ali said as she pulled away from Emily and stood on her own.

"Ali, what-" Emily looked at the blonde confused.

"Em, I can't just leave her there like that."

"What are you-?" Emily sputtered shocked. "Ali, she's dead."

"I have to make sure," Alison said as she took a deep breath.

"Ali, what are you saying?" Emily asked although she was pretty sure she knew.

"I can't take a chance she escapes."

"Alison, you're not going back down there. You can barely stand," Emily refused to agree with the blonde who she suspected had lost her mind.

"Hey, are you two fucking coming or what?" Cece called but the two girls ignored her.

"I have to," Alison insisted. "It will never be over if she survives. She'll find a way to come after us again."

Emily looked over at her friends who were kneeling around who she thought were Ezra and Caleb and wondered why one of them didn't come back and help her with Ali. "Ali, I won't let you go back down there. Now, come on."

Emily attempted to tug Alison's arm but the blonde was stronger than Emily thought she should be considering the physical torture she'd just endured.

"No," Alison said firmly, her tone broaching no room for argument. She tugged her arm out of Emily's grasp.

She stepped up to Emily and reached up with both hands, cupping her face in her palms. Alison pressed her lips to the brunette's. Emily gasped softly and wrapped her arms around Alison, pulling her closer.

Alison moaned softly as she felt Emily's tongue sweep into her mouth. The kiss lasted less than thirty seconds but Alison hoped Emily would never forget it. She pulled out of Emily's embrace and whimpered softly as their lips parted. She looked the brunette straight in the eye.

"I love you, Em. Never forget that."

Emily's brow furrowed at the finality of Alison's tone and then her eyes widened in shock as Alison shoved her hard over the threshold and out the doors. Before Emily had time to react, Alison tugged the two doors closed and bolted them shut.

"Ali," Emily screamed as she started pounding on the doors. The other girls rushed over.

"What the hell, Americana," Cece demanded as she started tugging on the doors.

"Where's Ali? What happened?" Spencer asked confused.

Emily couldn't answer, she could only pound helplessly on the door and scream Alison's name.

"Cece, do something," Emily begged.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Kick them in or something, Wonder Woman," Hanna replied.

"Ali,' Emily screamed.

A fire truck screeched to a halt at the sidewalk beside them.

Emily didn't know what happened next. Everything was a blur through her screams and her tears, but all she knew was she was pulled away and dragged across the street by her friends and the police.

Holbrook showed up with Tanner and asked where Alison was and Emily launched herself at him, pounding on his chest and screaming, asking him where he'd been.

He vanished around the side of the building with Cece as Emily struggled against her friend's hold, unable to do anything but watch the church burn. She collapsed and sobbed a bone aching, soul chilling sound that tore from the very depths of her soul.

What could have been minutes or hours later, Spencer was tugging her to her feet.

"Em, come on. They've got Ali."

The words didn't resister right away and Emily refused to walk, instead she tried to sink to the ground again.

"Emily Fields, listen to me," Hanna yelled as she slapped Emily across the face, jolting the brunette out of the shock she was in.

"Hanna, what the hell," Emily asked.

"They just took Ali away in an ambulance."

"What? She's alive?"

"I heard them say something about smoke inhalation but they also said she was breathing," Spencer said as tugged Emily along.

Another sob tore from Emily's throat but this time it was one of joy.

###################

**_7 Days Later_**

Emily walked up the steps to the DiLaurentis house and knocked on the door. It was the sixth time she was here in the last two days.

The aftermath of the fire was devastating on so many levels. The truth, the entire truth, of it all had finally come out. And Emily still couldn't wrap her brain around it.

Once the truth of Courtney's existence and her crimes were known, all charges against Spencer were dropped. The charges against Cece were also dropped when a video of her and Wilden's run in, showing it was self defense, was found among Courtney's things.

Alison was hospitalized for smoke inhalation and some minor burns on her hands and feet. Emily had overheard the doctor say something about her heart and the effect of all the torture she suffered but since she wasn't immediate family, no one would tell her anything more.

Jason arrived the next day and refused to let her have any visitors, finally whisking her away as soon as the doctors would release her.

Emily attempted to see her but Jason refused, saying Ali didn't want any visitors, not even Emily, as they both grieved for the loss of their father. Emily was hurt that Alison wouldn't allow her to visit but could only respect her wishes, if they really were her wishes.

When Alison returned home, Emily attempted more than half a dozen times to see her again, but Jason, and now Cece, who was staying at the house, refused to let her see the blonde.

Determined not to be turned away again, Emily rang the doorbell. A minute later the door opened to reveal Cece.

"Americana, what are you doing here?"

"I want to see Ali, Cece, and I'm not leaving until I do," Emily said firmly.

"She's not here," Cece said as she turned away from the door and walked away.

Emily followed, closing the door behind her. "What do you mean she's not here?"

Emily stepped into the living room to find Cece covering the furniture with white sheets.

"What are you doing?" Emily asked as she looked around and she felt her stomach clench.

"Closing up the house, what does it look like?" Cece responded with a roll of her eyes.

"Cece, what's going on? Where's Ali?" Emily stepped up and grabbed Cece's arm, forcing her to turn around.

"She's gone."

"What do you mean she's gone?" Emily choked over the lump in her throat. "She just got out of the hospital."

"I mean she's gone," Cece said a little more slowly. "She and Jason left this morning."

"Where did they go?"

Cece shook her head. "I don't know."

"I don't believe you," Emily whispered as a wave of nausea came over her.

"Well it's true. She couldn't stand to be in this house so Jason took her to one of the other DiLaurentis houses.

"Did she go to her grandmother's place in Georgia?" Emily asked as she mentally calculated how long it would take her to make the drive.

"No. That I know for sure," Cece replied as she threw a sheet over the piano.

"Why didn't they tell you?"

"They want to be alone."

Cece gathered the framed photographs from the table beside the window and put them in a box as Emily sank down on the sheet covered sofa. "Why wouldn't she see me? Why is she running from me?"

"Ali doesn't want to see anyone right now, Emily. Don't you get that?" Cece scoffed angrily. "Do you even realize how much she's been through? Her psycho sister tormented her, and all of you for years because of her, before killing both her parents and attempting to kill her for the third time."

"I was there, Cece. I don't need a play by play," Emily shot back angrily.

"Yeah, well, I don't know why you're so fucking surprised then."

"Do you know how to get a hold of her?" Emily stood again.

"Yes."

"Can you get her a message from me?" Emily asked softly. "Ask her to call me when she's feeling better."

"She's not going to be feeling better for a long time, hun. If ever. You do realize that, right?" Cece's voice was softer now and Emily could see the pity in her eyes.

"I just can't believe she left without saying goodbye," Emily felt tears prick the back of her eyes. "I know things are a total mess between us but she told me she loved me."

Cece stopped what she was doing and turned to face the brunette. "She does. She always has."

"Then why?"

Cece didn't answer her but just walked to her purse in the foyer before coming back and holding out a letter size white envelope.

"Maybe this will help you understand."

"What is it?" Emily asked looking at it warily but didn't take it.

"It's not a bomb so you don't have to look at it like that. It's just a letter. She asked me to give it to you."

Emily reached a tentative, shaking hand out and took the envelope.

"I was going to stop by your house later and drop it off, but you've saved me a trip, so thanks."

"Are you leaving too?" Emily asked as she squeezed the letter between her fingertips anxiously.

Cece nodded. "Yeah."

"Do you think they'll ever be back?" Emily asked softly.

"I don't know," Cece admitted as she frowned. "But probably not."

"Okay, I'm going to go," Emily said absently as she looked down at the envelope in her hand.

"You take care of yourself, Americana."

Emily didn't reply as she walked out the door, pulling it closed behind her.

She sat down heavily on the front stoop. With shaking hands, Emily opened the envelope and slid the letter out. She unfolded it and started to read.

_Em,_

_I know my leaving like this is going to hurt you once again, and I am truly sorry for that. But I have to go. Please know I wanted to see you so badly before I left, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, because I knew if I saw your beautiful face and you begged me not to go, I wouldn't. And I have to._

_I'm a mess, Em. And you don't need to be part of my mess. I'm numb from shock and I don't feel like I can feel anything, yet all I feel is pain all the time. Both physical and mental._

_I'm not sorry I pushed you out the door that night. I am sorry for the pain it's caused you but I'd do it all over again if I had to. I had to make sure she was dead. I couldn't' take the chance she could come back and try to hurt you. And I knew you wouldn't let me go._

_I meant what I said, Em. I love you. I think I've always loved you. And I know I always will until my dying breath. But I'm no good for you. I'm a walking disaster who no one can love. Even my own twin couldn't love me. _

_So, go live your life, my beautiful mermaid. Find love and happiness and grab on to it with both hands. You deserve it more than anyone._

_I hope one day you'll forgive me. I know you don't understand everything I've done and why, but know it was always to protect you._

_Love,_

_Ali_

Emily stared at the letter in her hand numbly. Alison had once again ripped her heart out, and although she could partially understand, she was furious the blonde one again made a decision for her. She'd dreamed for years to hear Alison say those three words and now she'd never hear them again pass the blonde's lips.

With shaking hands, Emily folded the letter again. She bent forward and buried her face in her hands and let the tears she'd been holding back for what seemed like years, flow down her face.

She didn't know how long she cried, but it was only when she felt arms around her and she looked up into Spencer's face, that she realized it was dark outside.

Emily pressed her body into her friend's, sobbing for the loss of the girl she loved, as her heart cracked and shattered inside her over and over.

Alison DiLaurentis ruined her and Emily knew she would never recover from it.

**The End... or is it? ;)**


End file.
